we've got some news!

We're having another baby! We found out in September that baby number two will be here on or around May 30, Jay's birthday. To those that see me in real life, this is not news, because at five weeks pregnant (honestly, 7 days after I peed on the damn stick) this is what my belly looked like:

No lie. 5 weeks pregnant. Not that I was super flat in the tummy area after Maura was born, but a high round belly? It's like my body got a zap of the hormones and said, "Come on, let's make a giant mansion for the seedling to live in!" Since then, it's only gotten bigger. Honestly, here was me yesterday, at exactly 12 weeks:
For comparison, this was me at 19 weeks with Maura:
Two things I notice here: 1). Damn, I'm huge. 2). The long hair thing isn't working for me.

It's the same in some ways as it was with Maura: I haven't gained any weight. Actually lost a couple of pounds. OK, that's just one way. Everything else is different. It's so much harder the second time around. I was so nauseous for weeks and just beyond exhausted. I'd forgotten how that felt, although it was so much worse this time around. With the second one, you just have no time to relax. Tired when I get home from work? Too bad! Want to sleep in? Too bad! And the anxiety? Just as bad as the first time around. I had to tell work at about 10 weeks because it was getting impossible to hide, and part of me thought, "This is too soon." But I had no choice, really. And everything so far has been fine -- we've had two ultrasounds where the peach looks perfect, and we have our NT scan on Wednesday to test for Down's and other chromosomal abnormalities and I'm excited to see it again and feel that sense of relief that always comes with watching the squirming T-Rex on the screen.

Last time Jay got to come to all my appointments with me, and he hasn't been able to come to even one yet. It's just too tough to make it work with Maura. I miss that sense of newness and anticipation that came with being pregnant with your first, but I feel so much more confident as a parent now that I think the second baby will benefit greatly. And now we know what to anticipate with this pregnancy, delivery and the aftermath. There's a reasonable chance (25 - 40%) that this baby will also have IUGR, as Maura did. They are watching me closely, and if they see signs, they will take immediate action instead of having it go undetected for as long as it did with Maura. I'm also desperately hoping to avoid the post-partum depression, which totally wrecked me for a long time, so we've decided that come hell or high water (given I'll only have about 4 weeks of leave saved up), I'm taking a full, normal 12 weeks off of work for maternity leave, which is basically the whole summer. Going back at 6 weeks with Maura was not a good idea, and I think is primarily what contributed to the depression. I don't want to put myself through that torture again, but more importantly, I don't want to put Jay, Maura and this little one through it.

Overall, I'm happy to finally be feeling better (off to paint some trim!) and that this time around, we have a house of our own, a room for the baby that we can paint any color we want, a job that is stable and supportive and a healthy baby girl and a great husband. I have no doubt there will be some stumbling blocks and drama along the way this time, just like there was last time, but I just feel really lucky that I have the chance to even go through this again. Even if I'll miss the best seasons for good beer and Bailey's.