some news

So we got some news on Thursday at the ultrasound that is not the best news, but not the worst news, either. For a reason yet (and maybe forever) unknown, the baby is not thriving in my uterus. At 37 week/1 day gestation, she is only 5 lbs. 3 oz., which is about the size of a 34 week old baby. Somewhere in the past three weeks she has stopped growing. While everything in the ultrasound showed that she looks healthy otherwise (has all her fingers and toes, has enough amniotic fluid available to her), she is not doing well in there and I will be induced sometime before 39 weeks (August 27) so she can come on out and get the help she needs to thrive.

While there can be a few concrete causes of this (high blood pressure, drug abuse, smoking), I have none of these risk factors. And while we have been under tremendous stress lately with our living situation, stress did not cause this, although it can make the situation worse. For that reason, I was put on bed rest, effectively immediately. I can drive to my doctor's appointments (and I now have one every day next week) but can't go anywhere else. And when I'm home, I need to be a "couch potato," as the doctor says.

It's been difficult to process this, as we have so much else going on right now. Jay and I didn't even have a chance to talk about it all face-to-face until he got home from work on Friday night at midnight. We've had lots of love and support from family and friends, and we're dealing with it as best we know how. We're finding it best for us to spend as much time left as we have before the baby comes with each other, and be calm and quiet and think through everything and talk about our concerns and just be with ourselves in these last few days before our lives will forever change. I know I've said this before many times, but Jay and I are a good team, and we're going to be alright, no matter what, because we have each other.

Despite this news, this still remains a very exciting time for us. We are daydreaming about our days as a new family, feeling more confident than ever that we can handle anything. Her nursery is set up with all her beautiful things, waiting for her to come home. Our bags are packed and we've got a cute outfit picked for her to come home in.

And while the birth experience will likely be different than we imagined, it will still be ours to share in our own way with our little girl. As I said, if I do not go into labor between now and the 27th, I will be induced, which can be up to a 3 day process because they have to proceed slowly because of her size. If there is any sign of fetal distress, I will have a c-section immediately. We will find out on Wednesday at the next high-level ultrasound how the cord and placenta are holding up and how she is doing. That will be the determining test that will dictate when I am induced. If she is still not thriving, I will likely be given 24 hours notice before the induction, unless they think there is a great risk and we will proceed immediately. If she looks like she's growing slightly, they will schedule the induction for no more than 7 days from that point.

As I'm already full term (which is defined as 37 weeks), her lungs are anatomically developed but she may need some assistance with oxygen when she's born. "Premature" is defined as 5 lbs. and under, so unless she drops weight (which is possible during an induction), she will not be considered premature. And while we plan to deliver at our normal hospital, we may deliver elsewhere if the doctors think we need to be at a more major medical center.

There are a lot of factors to consider, and many scenarios to play out. We are still working things out in our own heads, but are confident that things will be just fine and that there are far more dire situations in which babies enter the world and thrive.

I'll try to keep this updated as the week wears on. Lots of love to everyone.

it's official

We're in (almost).

The moving process will happen over the course of a few days, but as far as I'm concerned, we're in! No more going back to our old place for me, if I can help it.

I've included some pictures of it without all of our stuff in it. It's nicer, bigger and cleaner than I imagined. Now all it needs is a little baby girl in one of the rooms and we'll be all set!

I'm officially full term this week, which is very exciting. Three weeks to go until my due date! I'm having an ultrasound tomorrow to check the fetal weight and positioning, as they think she's still transverse breech. And with the stress of the past few weeks I haven't been gaining weight (in fact I've lost a few pounds), so they want to check on her size. She should be about 6 to 6 1/2 lbs. now, and I think she'll be 7 1/2 lbs. when she's born, which means she'd need to cook for another two weeks at least. Fine by me! Although I feel ginormous, and look it, too, I don't think she's going to be a 9 lb.+ baby. I still haven't hit a 20 lb. weight gain, and according to the doctors there's a good 10 - 15 lbs. of "other" stuff (fluid, extra blood volume, placenta, etc.) gained with pregnancy, so while it's possible she'll be 9 lbs., it's highly unlikely. Famous last words, right?

If I get any good ultrasound pics tomorrow, I'll post those, too. For now, here's our empty (but BIG, BEAUTIFUL and CLEAN) new home:

on the move

Well, it has been a tumultuous week, to say the least. I won't bore everyone with the long and dramatic details but the short version comes down to this: we're moving. Next week. Yes, I know I'm 9 months pregnant. Yes, I know we just moved in March. Trust me when I say this was not in the cards even two weeks ago.

Our current apartment situation went from bad to worse last week, with threats of eviction, STILL no clean up of the basement, only recently restored hot water, no furnace, conversations with lawyers and the health department and finally, a decision that for our health, safety and peace of mind, we needed to get the hell out of there as fast as we could.

Those that know me well may not find this surprising, as I am usually the first to jump ship at the sign of trouble. Jay is much more rooted. However, it came down to what our life would be like continuing to live in an apartment below a landlord who didn't give a rat's ass about keeping the house livable, and who confessed to not having the money to do even the smallest of repairs, which spelled big danger for ever getting the furnace fixed in time for the New England winters (which can often start with needing heat at night as early as September). If it was just Jay and I, we could have survived. But not with the baby. The health department, housing department, the lawyer, my doctor -- everyone said, if you can move now, do it.

So we are. We found a great place in a managed apartment complex just down the street. It's a two bedroom, clean, nice regular old apartment, with more amenities than we have now (yeah dishwasher!) and our favorite part, a 24 hour maintenance crew. We have vowed not to move again for at least 3 years, and never again to deal with a landlord. The stress has been unbelievable, and although we've made the best of it and it will all work out in the end, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

We have been so blessed to have such wonderful and supportive friends and families who have helped us through this. We've cried (well, mainly me), panicked, paced, cried more, stayed awake in the middle of the night, been unable to eat, and through it all, have always been able to count on people to help support us and offer their love, time, money, and packing skills if it meant we could make it though this as unscathed as possible. Everyone's really worried about me and the baby, and I must say that between my amazing husband, who has handled the brunt of this disaster, and our friends and families, I just know this is all for the best and that we will be just fine in the end. So thank you, from the bottoms of our hearts.

Let's keep our fingers crossed that the baby doesn't decide to come between now and next week. It's unlikely she will, but just say a little wish to the universe for us!

I don't want to post our new address on the internet, but will send a separate email soon.

as promised

I'm posting some pictures from the past few weeks. Some of the shower and of the nursery, mostly. I look like an enormous cow in most of the shower photos, so the ones of me and Jay (where I look the cow-iest) will not be seeing the light of day. You'll see in the belly shot of me that I've officially outgrown my maternity clothes, which now barely cover my belly. This has happened literally overnight. I'll be 35 weeks tomorrow, and I can't imagine how much more room there is in there for her to grow. Not a lot, I would guess. I can feel that she's cramped. I've been going weekly for my non-stress tests and everything is progressing fine, although they keep warning me to be prepared to go into labor at any point, particular after 37 weeks. I've learned in this experience that the OB practice I use is VERY cautious. I don't think I'm going to go into labor in the next two weeks, but I guess it's nice to have had 6 people tell me what to do in case I do.


It's been a not-so-fun few days at the Smalley household, as our basement flooded on Thursday because we've been having terrible rain storms and our crazy (to put it nicely) landlady hasn't taken care of it. She is blaming it on the City because she thinks that the city sewer line that runs parallel to the house is backing up (which it is, the street floods every time it rains) and she wants the city to come take care of it, which they are just NOT GOING TO DO. And there's no use sitting around with sewage molding in your basement just because you want to prove a point to the city. They don't care. Hire a &*%$^#*! private company to come fix it and then have it be done with. You can file a claim with your homeowners insurance. Oh wait, you can't afford the deductible? Not my problem. You shouldn't own a home and be a landlord then. If she didn't live directly above us and I wasn't 9 months pregnant and in no position to move, I'd call the Department of Public Health on her. We've had no hot water since Thursday, and there is still sewage and water in the basement. All of my non-maternity winter clothes are ruined, most beyond repair (even with a good dry cleaning), and my good furniture I've had since I was a child is damaged, but seems salvageable, at this point. Our dryer is ruined (that our landlady uses, as well, but I guess it's OUR responsibility to replace) and the hot water heater needs to be replaced. She was supposed to have someone come and pump out the water this weekend, but they never showed, and while it's slowly draining, there is a layer of shit (pardon my French) covering the floor. Being 9 months pregnant, there's not much I can do about it myself, and Jay's been working doubles Wednesday - Friday so he's not around either. My patience is wearing thin. It's very distressing not to be able to take a warm shower for the fourth day in a row, and to have no access to laundry. I'm going to hit a laundromat this week, but it's enough to make me want to just cry. Ugh.


Anyway, on to the glimpses of happier moments (and I know these bad ones, too, shall pass):

so sorry . . .

for the lack of updates. Things have been very busy and my energy level has taken a drastic nosedive. It's been a bit stressful trying to get my work life in order for the baby, so I haven't felt much like stepping foot near a computer once I get home.

We had a WONDERFUL baby shower on the 12th that I can't say enough about. It was wonderful to have my Mom and my friend Sue up from Maryland to celebrate with us, and Jay's Mom and grandmother did an awesome job with the decorating, the food, the games, EVERYTHING. We had a great time, and I highly recommend going to the Jack and Jill route -- it made it much more fun to have everyone there together, and the guys didn't seem to mind too much sitting through the present opening.

Everything was fine at the doctor's office last week, and my first NST went well -- the baby was SUPER active, which made them very pleased. I go back again this Friday for another one, and that will continue until she's born.

My doctor told me on Friday to prepare for her to come anytime after about 37 weeks -- which is only three weeks from now!!! As much as I love her and want to meet her, I don't think I'm quite ready for her to make an appearance in three weeks, but I guess I have to get used to the idea. We've got the nursery almost set up (I'll attach pictures soon), and I think we're pretty much as ready as we'll ever be, to be honest. Three weeks is just so close! I think she'll hang out a bit longer, but we'll see!

Hope all is well with everyone. I promise I'll get pictures up as soon as I can.

"it's not the heat, it's the humidity"

So as much as I complained about the cold when I was first pregnant, I must say this heat is a thousand times worse. See exhibit A, my swollen feet and ankles: I know, it's gross, and I have no shame for posting it. The picture was taken with my swollen hands, which are so filled with fluid they actually ache, making it difficult to even make a fist. Swollen feet are hard for me, because they are basically the one body part I really like (or at least don't have a million issues with). I keep doing what they say and drink tons of water, but it is getting increasingly more cumbersome to have to get up and pee every 10 - 15 minutes (and this is not an exaggeration in any way, shape or form) that last night I finally said forget it and didn't drink anything for the final hour and half before I went to bed. I STILL had to pee every 15 minutes until I went to bed, but then only got up 3 times at night as opposed to the usual 4 or 5. It's getting embarrassing, since Jay is now having to help hoist me up off the sofa from a seated position. The bowling ball belly is getting bigger and bigger!

We had a great 4th down in Plymouth, although the weather didn't hold for a beach day, and the next morning we went to go watch Jay's brother Adam compete in his first half-ironman triathlon. He did amazing! He finished around 5:45 if I remember correctly, and looked relaxed and happy at the finish line. He's racing a full Ironman in Florida in November. See exhibit B:

We've spent the week so far getting ready for our weekend visitors. This morning we met with a pediatrician we really liked, so it feels nice to have that out of the way. He was very practical and mild-mannered, and the office was splattered with tons of pictures of Red Sox players and Patriots players, which made us smile. He was ranked one of the top 10 pediatricians in the city last year by Boston magazine, so we feel lucky he's still accepting patients. Our next baby appointment is next Friday, when I have my regular (now at two-week interval) check-up and my first NST (non-stress test). I'm looking forward to that, as I'll spend a half-hour or so strapped to a few monitors listening to her heartbeat, which is my favorite sound.

All in all, a good week, despite the 90+ degree heat and humidity. We're looking very forward to the baby shower on Saturday and seeing our family and friends all together in one place. I'll take lots of pictures to show off next week. Until then,

coming 'round the bend

What a jam packed week! Jay's been working a lot, as usual, and I took some time off during the week (I have use-it-or-lose-it vacation days I can't save for maternity leave) and did fun things like get a haircut, take Etta to the vet and hit the RMV. Then we had a bit of a scramble with the crib we'd picked out and registered for - I got an email Thursday morning that the crib had been recalled because slats had come loose and caused injury and strangulation. Yikes. So we had to pick out a new one, which proved to be a bit of a challenge. We found one we liked, but it was $90 to ship, which seemed insane. So then we picked out another, found out it was in stock, and put it on hold for pick up on Saturday. Turns out, if we had to order an out-of-stock crib, it could take 10-12 weeks, which we really don't have at this point. So, we headed down to Babies R Us on Saturday morning to pick it up. The morning ended up being a sort of comedy of errors (I'll spare you the details), but by Sunday, the crib was set up and beautiful, a gift from Nan and Herman to their great granddaughter. Here's a look at my handy husband putting it together and then what it looks like in the room:
We really pleased with it. It's super sturdy and has a beautiful finish. It has a nice bureau to match that we'll get, also. So exciting!

Sunday was spent on the couch where I literally felt and watched the girl move from a transverse position to a head down position, complete with kicks in the ribs and a hard bulge on my left side where her butt now sits. It was so cool to feel her move that much, even as it got increasingly uncomfortable. And I know she could move back again, but it's nice to know she's in the "right" position for the moment.

Last night we went to see Pearl Jam, which as usual did not disappoint. It was a late night after a whole evening on my feet, but it was so fun and totally worth it to see them at an outdoor arena. We both took off today knowing we'd need time to recover, and because we had a doctor's appointment. Everything looks great! The baby is measuring right on schedule, her heartbeat is nice and strong, and I was right about where she is now positioned. Not that it really matters that I'm right, it was more cool to get validation that what I'm feeling is SO DAMN REAL. I just love doctor's appointments for that reason, it just gives us amazing reinforcement that she's doing as good as we feel she is. And I only gained 4 lbs. this month, for a total of only 18, which makes me thrilled. I'm getting pretty good at this pregnancy thing!

I start going in every two weeks now for the the next four weeks, and then every week from then on. My non-stress tests at the hospital start every week starting the 18th.

All in all, life is good. We're looking forward to the 4th, where we spend the day on the beach in Plymouth with our closest friends. And then the next day my brother-in-law Adam is doing a half-ironman we're going to go watch.

I hope everyone has an equally wonderful holiday weekend. And now, the standard sign-off: