on the move

Well, it has been a tumultuous week, to say the least. I won't bore everyone with the long and dramatic details but the short version comes down to this: we're moving. Next week. Yes, I know I'm 9 months pregnant. Yes, I know we just moved in March. Trust me when I say this was not in the cards even two weeks ago.

Our current apartment situation went from bad to worse last week, with threats of eviction, STILL no clean up of the basement, only recently restored hot water, no furnace, conversations with lawyers and the health department and finally, a decision that for our health, safety and peace of mind, we needed to get the hell out of there as fast as we could.

Those that know me well may not find this surprising, as I am usually the first to jump ship at the sign of trouble. Jay is much more rooted. However, it came down to what our life would be like continuing to live in an apartment below a landlord who didn't give a rat's ass about keeping the house livable, and who confessed to not having the money to do even the smallest of repairs, which spelled big danger for ever getting the furnace fixed in time for the New England winters (which can often start with needing heat at night as early as September). If it was just Jay and I, we could have survived. But not with the baby. The health department, housing department, the lawyer, my doctor -- everyone said, if you can move now, do it.

So we are. We found a great place in a managed apartment complex just down the street. It's a two bedroom, clean, nice regular old apartment, with more amenities than we have now (yeah dishwasher!) and our favorite part, a 24 hour maintenance crew. We have vowed not to move again for at least 3 years, and never again to deal with a landlord. The stress has been unbelievable, and although we've made the best of it and it will all work out in the end, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

We have been so blessed to have such wonderful and supportive friends and families who have helped us through this. We've cried (well, mainly me), panicked, paced, cried more, stayed awake in the middle of the night, been unable to eat, and through it all, have always been able to count on people to help support us and offer their love, time, money, and packing skills if it meant we could make it though this as unscathed as possible. Everyone's really worried about me and the baby, and I must say that between my amazing husband, who has handled the brunt of this disaster, and our friends and families, I just know this is all for the best and that we will be just fine in the end. So thank you, from the bottoms of our hearts.

Let's keep our fingers crossed that the baby doesn't decide to come between now and next week. It's unlikely she will, but just say a little wish to the universe for us!

I don't want to post our new address on the internet, but will send a separate email soon.

as promised

I'm posting some pictures from the past few weeks. Some of the shower and of the nursery, mostly. I look like an enormous cow in most of the shower photos, so the ones of me and Jay (where I look the cow-iest) will not be seeing the light of day. You'll see in the belly shot of me that I've officially outgrown my maternity clothes, which now barely cover my belly. This has happened literally overnight. I'll be 35 weeks tomorrow, and I can't imagine how much more room there is in there for her to grow. Not a lot, I would guess. I can feel that she's cramped. I've been going weekly for my non-stress tests and everything is progressing fine, although they keep warning me to be prepared to go into labor at any point, particular after 37 weeks. I've learned in this experience that the OB practice I use is VERY cautious. I don't think I'm going to go into labor in the next two weeks, but I guess it's nice to have had 6 people tell me what to do in case I do.


It's been a not-so-fun few days at the Smalley household, as our basement flooded on Thursday because we've been having terrible rain storms and our crazy (to put it nicely) landlady hasn't taken care of it. She is blaming it on the City because she thinks that the city sewer line that runs parallel to the house is backing up (which it is, the street floods every time it rains) and she wants the city to come take care of it, which they are just NOT GOING TO DO. And there's no use sitting around with sewage molding in your basement just because you want to prove a point to the city. They don't care. Hire a &*%$^#*! private company to come fix it and then have it be done with. You can file a claim with your homeowners insurance. Oh wait, you can't afford the deductible? Not my problem. You shouldn't own a home and be a landlord then. If she didn't live directly above us and I wasn't 9 months pregnant and in no position to move, I'd call the Department of Public Health on her. We've had no hot water since Thursday, and there is still sewage and water in the basement. All of my non-maternity winter clothes are ruined, most beyond repair (even with a good dry cleaning), and my good furniture I've had since I was a child is damaged, but seems salvageable, at this point. Our dryer is ruined (that our landlady uses, as well, but I guess it's OUR responsibility to replace) and the hot water heater needs to be replaced. She was supposed to have someone come and pump out the water this weekend, but they never showed, and while it's slowly draining, there is a layer of shit (pardon my French) covering the floor. Being 9 months pregnant, there's not much I can do about it myself, and Jay's been working doubles Wednesday - Friday so he's not around either. My patience is wearing thin. It's very distressing not to be able to take a warm shower for the fourth day in a row, and to have no access to laundry. I'm going to hit a laundromat this week, but it's enough to make me want to just cry. Ugh.


Anyway, on to the glimpses of happier moments (and I know these bad ones, too, shall pass):

so sorry . . .

for the lack of updates. Things have been very busy and my energy level has taken a drastic nosedive. It's been a bit stressful trying to get my work life in order for the baby, so I haven't felt much like stepping foot near a computer once I get home.

We had a WONDERFUL baby shower on the 12th that I can't say enough about. It was wonderful to have my Mom and my friend Sue up from Maryland to celebrate with us, and Jay's Mom and grandmother did an awesome job with the decorating, the food, the games, EVERYTHING. We had a great time, and I highly recommend going to the Jack and Jill route -- it made it much more fun to have everyone there together, and the guys didn't seem to mind too much sitting through the present opening.

Everything was fine at the doctor's office last week, and my first NST went well -- the baby was SUPER active, which made them very pleased. I go back again this Friday for another one, and that will continue until she's born.

My doctor told me on Friday to prepare for her to come anytime after about 37 weeks -- which is only three weeks from now!!! As much as I love her and want to meet her, I don't think I'm quite ready for her to make an appearance in three weeks, but I guess I have to get used to the idea. We've got the nursery almost set up (I'll attach pictures soon), and I think we're pretty much as ready as we'll ever be, to be honest. Three weeks is just so close! I think she'll hang out a bit longer, but we'll see!

Hope all is well with everyone. I promise I'll get pictures up as soon as I can.

"it's not the heat, it's the humidity"

So as much as I complained about the cold when I was first pregnant, I must say this heat is a thousand times worse. See exhibit A, my swollen feet and ankles: I know, it's gross, and I have no shame for posting it. The picture was taken with my swollen hands, which are so filled with fluid they actually ache, making it difficult to even make a fist. Swollen feet are hard for me, because they are basically the one body part I really like (or at least don't have a million issues with). I keep doing what they say and drink tons of water, but it is getting increasingly more cumbersome to have to get up and pee every 10 - 15 minutes (and this is not an exaggeration in any way, shape or form) that last night I finally said forget it and didn't drink anything for the final hour and half before I went to bed. I STILL had to pee every 15 minutes until I went to bed, but then only got up 3 times at night as opposed to the usual 4 or 5. It's getting embarrassing, since Jay is now having to help hoist me up off the sofa from a seated position. The bowling ball belly is getting bigger and bigger!

We had a great 4th down in Plymouth, although the weather didn't hold for a beach day, and the next morning we went to go watch Jay's brother Adam compete in his first half-ironman triathlon. He did amazing! He finished around 5:45 if I remember correctly, and looked relaxed and happy at the finish line. He's racing a full Ironman in Florida in November. See exhibit B:

We've spent the week so far getting ready for our weekend visitors. This morning we met with a pediatrician we really liked, so it feels nice to have that out of the way. He was very practical and mild-mannered, and the office was splattered with tons of pictures of Red Sox players and Patriots players, which made us smile. He was ranked one of the top 10 pediatricians in the city last year by Boston magazine, so we feel lucky he's still accepting patients. Our next baby appointment is next Friday, when I have my regular (now at two-week interval) check-up and my first NST (non-stress test). I'm looking forward to that, as I'll spend a half-hour or so strapped to a few monitors listening to her heartbeat, which is my favorite sound.

All in all, a good week, despite the 90+ degree heat and humidity. We're looking very forward to the baby shower on Saturday and seeing our family and friends all together in one place. I'll take lots of pictures to show off next week. Until then,

coming 'round the bend

What a jam packed week! Jay's been working a lot, as usual, and I took some time off during the week (I have use-it-or-lose-it vacation days I can't save for maternity leave) and did fun things like get a haircut, take Etta to the vet and hit the RMV. Then we had a bit of a scramble with the crib we'd picked out and registered for - I got an email Thursday morning that the crib had been recalled because slats had come loose and caused injury and strangulation. Yikes. So we had to pick out a new one, which proved to be a bit of a challenge. We found one we liked, but it was $90 to ship, which seemed insane. So then we picked out another, found out it was in stock, and put it on hold for pick up on Saturday. Turns out, if we had to order an out-of-stock crib, it could take 10-12 weeks, which we really don't have at this point. So, we headed down to Babies R Us on Saturday morning to pick it up. The morning ended up being a sort of comedy of errors (I'll spare you the details), but by Sunday, the crib was set up and beautiful, a gift from Nan and Herman to their great granddaughter. Here's a look at my handy husband putting it together and then what it looks like in the room:
We really pleased with it. It's super sturdy and has a beautiful finish. It has a nice bureau to match that we'll get, also. So exciting!

Sunday was spent on the couch where I literally felt and watched the girl move from a transverse position to a head down position, complete with kicks in the ribs and a hard bulge on my left side where her butt now sits. It was so cool to feel her move that much, even as it got increasingly uncomfortable. And I know she could move back again, but it's nice to know she's in the "right" position for the moment.

Last night we went to see Pearl Jam, which as usual did not disappoint. It was a late night after a whole evening on my feet, but it was so fun and totally worth it to see them at an outdoor arena. We both took off today knowing we'd need time to recover, and because we had a doctor's appointment. Everything looks great! The baby is measuring right on schedule, her heartbeat is nice and strong, and I was right about where she is now positioned. Not that it really matters that I'm right, it was more cool to get validation that what I'm feeling is SO DAMN REAL. I just love doctor's appointments for that reason, it just gives us amazing reinforcement that she's doing as good as we feel she is. And I only gained 4 lbs. this month, for a total of only 18, which makes me thrilled. I'm getting pretty good at this pregnancy thing!

I start going in every two weeks now for the the next four weeks, and then every week from then on. My non-stress tests at the hospital start every week starting the 18th.

All in all, life is good. We're looking forward to the 4th, where we spend the day on the beach in Plymouth with our closest friends. And then the next day my brother-in-law Adam is doing a half-ironman we're going to go watch.

I hope everyone has an equally wonderful holiday weekend. And now, the standard sign-off:

The Big 3-0

Hard to believe its gone so fast but on Tuesday I'll officially be 30 weeks. 7 more weeks until the girl is fully cooked and 10 weeks until my due date. I think she'll be here closer to 7 weeks than 10, but I'm not taking any bets quite yet.

Overall, it's been a fine week; Jay's been working extra hours, I've been trying to find new ways to make sleeping more comfortable, and that's about it. We're gearing up for more visitors in about three weeks, because Jay's mom and grandmother are kindly throwing us a baby shower on July 12. My Mom and my friend Sue are coming up from Maryland, which should be fun. I like a full house.

I've been nesting (slightly) by cleaning and organizing, and yesterday I decided it would be brilliant to rearrange the living room furniture. By myself. While Jay was gone. Needless to say, I was exhausted when I got finished, but I want to make the place as baby-friendly in its set up as possible. I think I accomplished that. I managed to pull myself together for a lovely girls night with Amanda and Angela at the local tapas restaurant, where I got to eat yummy food and salivate over the sangria Angela was drinking.

Otherwise, not much to report. Our next doctor's appointment is July 1, and I've got a million questions for her about typical hospital procedure during labor and delivery. We're meeting with a pediatrician on July 9 to see if we like him. In two weeks, my weekly non-stress tests at the hospital begin and I start heading for doctor's appointments every other week. I can only imagine how time will fly at that point.

Until next time, I leave you with the belly:

happy father's day

Sorry for the delay between updates -- I think we've finally hit the calm before the storm. While we've been busy with work and such, the girl has just been swimming along in there rather uneventfully at the moment. She kicks constantly, which I LOVE, and we both just get more excited to meet her everyday.

We did have one thought-provoking baby moment this week, watching an amazing new documentary called "The Business of Being Born." It was created and moderated by talk show host Ricki Lake, after she had a not-so-good hospital birth experience with her first child and then a really good home birth experience with her second child. It basically explored why we're one of the only countries (developed and underdeveloped) that relies so heavily on hospital births with OBs and has less midwife-assisted home and birthing center births. Yet, we have the highest infant and maternal mortality rate of any developed country, and have the highest c-section and induced labor rates of any developed country.

The movie took a lot of leaps, basically concluding that the reasons for the high rates of c-sections and inductions had to do with not wanting women in the hospital too long so the hospitals could turn over beds frequently and make money. I don't entirely agree with this reasoning, especially stated so bluntly as the ONLY reason we have such high rates of these interventions, but I also don't believe its an entirely far-fetched or inaccurate assessment of PART of the reason births in our country occur the way they do.

The most amazing part for me and Jay (aside from being able to watch three amazing home births and an emergency c-section totally unedited) was hearing the medical explanations for what happens to the body during a labor that has an early intervention like pitocin. This is a common scenario these days: Say I start having contractions that are 1 minute in length/3 minutes apart and am told to head to the hospital, only to find I am 2 cm dilated. I could stay this way for HOURS, if not days, with no harm to the baby (particularly if my water hasn't broken, which it statistically most often doesn't, despite every woman's fear and/or knowledge of women who's water broke with a gush in line at the supermarket). Because of a high risk of bacterial infection (which I believe is possible, living the repercussions first-hand of a bacterial infection gone awry last year), after your water breaks, babies must be born within 12 hours. But if it hasn't (which again it is most likely not to), I could labor for a long while at the hospital. But, the movie concludes, the prevailing belief is if the baby could be born sooner rather than later, wouldn't it be more ideal for everyone? The hospitals prey on the idea that you're already at the hospital and are anxious to meet your baby, and they conclude almost 100% of the time that a long labor can cause the baby to be in distress (which may or may not be entirely true, depending on your circumstances). So you say, sure, let's try some pitocin to speed things up. Next thing you know you've shot up to 5 cm dilated in a half-hour and are in extreme pain, and so they give you an epidural, which makes you feel great but by nature slows down your contractions. However, they still want that baby out, even if you feel like you could handle contractions for a few more hours, so they up the pitocin even more to get you fully dilated as soon as possible. Now, you can feel the contractions even stronger despite the epidural, which they promptly turn up so you can feel less and hopefully be more rested for pushing. But then the contractions slow again, and the cycle begins all over. Eventually, you're having difficulty pushing because you're numbed to even the pressure of the contractions, and since you're already prepped with the anesthesia, they wheel you off to have a c-section because at this point it IS imperative that they get the baby out.

While every birth experience is different, and this was a fairly biased documentary advocating for home births and against hospital births, the above scenario made a lot of sense to me, and is one we'd like to avoid. So, I'm going to do a bit more research, and while I certainly remain totally open to taking whatever course of action my particular labor demands, I'd like to avoid the early interventions like pitocin if they are not medically necessary. I'm still up for an epidural, but I'd like to try to see how things progress naturally before I make any decisions.

All of this may be a moot point, however, because at this point I have a strong suspicion that she is breech, which would require a c-section if she doesn't turn in the next 10 weeks. It's entirely possible that she will, but all movement at this point is centered very low, barely higher than the top of my pubic bone. From what I've read and seen (and clearly what I feel, which is an even strong indicator), most movement felt is kicks, not punches, which would mean those are her feet down there. I'm going to ask the doctor on July 1 when we go in, and I know there are ways to manipulate her in the uterus that can help her flip around, but I think it is helpful at this point to keep an open mind about c-sections.

All of this is just interesting food for thought, but I've never been one to believe in absolutes and I don't think at the end of the day I'm going to feel super strongly about much other than having a healthy baby (since that's all I feel super strongly about now). But it was interesting to watch the presentation of beliefs I'd never really given much thought to unfold in front of me and actually make a bit of sense. I guess this is the true definition of "learning."

So while we ponder this some more, I'll leave you with a fairly recent belly pic (from Thursday):All for now!